Thursday, November 13, 2014

Sneeze Fest

The past 3 days have been challenging.

Came down with flu and non-stop sneeze fest on Monday afternoon. Sampai rumah terus melepet sampai malam. Mr. Chenta pepandai la jaga Afif aku dah takleh bangon.

Tuesday morning i woke up with an awful throb in my head, a fever and a nose full of snot that i could barely breathe without my mouth hanging open. Tissue papers full of snot around me. Not a pretty sight at all. Melepet all day. Sian anak aku mintak perhatian, ajak main, mintak nenen tapi tak berapa dilayan. i did not take any medications coz i'm worried it might affect the baby in my tummy.

Tengah hari tu gi klinik nak mintak ubat and MC. Doktor boleh kasi paracetamol je, vitamin B complex, ubat sakit tekak and nasal spray. Ubat selsema dia tak brani bagi katanya. She's really concerned coz my blood pressure is very low. 90/60. Katanya kalo low pon patut nya cannot go lower than 70 (nombo yang bawah tu). Takot blood flow ke baby tak cantik. Dia pesan soh banyak banyak minom air and rest. Of course la aku risau. 

Wednesday morning still demam, sakit kepala and hidung sumbat tambah plak ngan batuk. Cukup pakej. Pas makan roti, makan ubat. Still tak larat gi keje so aku gi klinik balik sebab nak mintak MC harini. Doctor check blood pressure lagi rendah drp semalam. 90/53 pulak. Seriously how do you elevate blood pressure? Ingatkan dapat la rest the whole day tapi dapat plak appointment alert kat phone for Afif's post-surgery follow up kat Sunway Medical. Gagahkan hati teman hubby and Afif pi check up. Lama la jugak petang baru settle. 

Here i am today at work. Tak larat dah nak MC sebabnye kalo dok umah pon still kene layan Afif ku sayang. Bertabah je la dok opis ni haa..

It's true what they say. There's no sick days for moms. Kalo dulu Afif kat umah babysitter dapat la jugak aku tido melepet bila MC. Ni sejak husband ku unpaid leave jaga dia, kalo MC pon aku kene melayan. Tak dapat bayangkan camne la full time housewife rasa bila sakit still kene jaga anak.

All in all, i'm just praying that baby in my tummy will not be affected by my fever and blood pressure.

Monday, November 3, 2014

Bun in the Oven: Round Two

As the title suggests, i'm PREGNANT, peeps!

Been meaning to blog about it for a while but mannn tak terkejar dek jari jemari ku.

Alhamdulillah. We're overjoyed by this!

Truthfully, ikot hati memang dah lama nak baby lagi. Sebabnya aku slalu rindu time pregnant. Umur pon nak masuk 3-series tahun depan. Tapi memikirkan dlu aku c-sect so cam lek ah duluuu..

Another main reason why we waited is because of Afif. He needs constant interaction with us to promote listening and speech development. Kalo ada adik, takot tak terbahagi masa. Based on my observation, parents lain yang dedicated memang tunggu 4-5 tahun sebelom konfiden nak beranak lagi. Ada sorang akak ni, sampai her deaf daughter tu dah 7 tahun, baru dia conceive balik. So we prayed hard. If having a little brother/sister will impact Afif's speech development, jangan bagi dulu. But if a lil' brother/sister could help him develop better (sebab ada kawan untuk dia main, sekali gus interact and improve bahasa), sila lah bagi skang.

Alhamdulillah, positive plak pregnancy test. Memang terkejot weh. We take it as a sign that it'll all be okay.

i'm well into my second trimester now. Gonna be 17 weeks on Wednesday.

 12th week ultrasound


16th week ultrasound.
Membesar bagai jaguh anak mama, baru 16 weeks but measured at 17 weeks already.

At 15 weeks of pregnancy.
Sempat gi concert Mariah Carey. Gigih!
Muat lagi jeans zaman baru grad uni. But i think it won't be long till i have to be in maternity clothes.

This time around, i took precautionary steps as soon as i found out i'm pregnant. Telan vitamin C bebanyak nak buff up immune system. Takmo demam panas especially in the first trimester cam masa pregnant Afif dulu. Ada jugak risau takot this baby pon kurang dengar cam abang dia but we're praying and hoping for the best.

Harap korang pon sudi lah doakan baby ni sihat sempurna, jadi insan soleh/solehah ye. Amin.


Monday, October 20, 2014

i Want to Touch a Dog.. Or Maybe Not

Again, after the Octoberfest issue, Malaysians are shook with another religion/cultural sensitive issue.

To be honest, when i saw the promo for "i Want to Touch a Dog" event, i was tempted.

Because to be honest, i like them dogs, especially the ones that looks like fox. Siberian husky is it? And another one is Shiba Inu. So fluffy, so cute, so loyal and so friendly (at least that's how they look on tvs). Cats are not really my thing because.. well, after living with them for years, i found that they're boring. At least you can play fetch with a dog, take them for walks, and (again from tvs) they understand you when you talk to them. And they sit by your grave when you die (blame the tv). Cats just meow and ask for more food.

So there you have it. A confession for me. Yes, i like dogs. 

As much as i love this wonderful creature, i'm also a Muslim. Not only Muslim by name, i'm practicing Muslim. Part of being a Muslim is questioning and understanding why certain things are restricted/limited/forbidden in Islam. And being a Muslim, of course i refrain myself from getting near dogs.

So back to the "i Want to Touch a Dog" event. i'm sure whoever organized the event has a good intention at heart. The objective was something like to overcome people's fear of dogs, to show that dogs are not haraam, and to create awareness about samak/sertu. 

When i heard about that, i thought it was somewhat good idea and i also thought "Boy, this will be controversial"

i decided not to go anyway. Because..

1) i was unclear of  what the hukum is for us to pet dogs without reason (anjing sakit ke, nak kasi makan ke ape memang diharuskan..) 
2) if Afif likes them dogs, dah satu hal plak everytime nampak anjing dia nak pet. Besides, he's still so little he doesn't understand right from wrong. Kang tak pasal-pasal mintak anjing dengan alasan "dulu Mama tak ingat ke kite sayang anjing tewww"
3) i already love dogs. Takyah gi kempen segala to nurture my love for dogs
4) malas nak bangon pagi baahaha

On the day of the event,i was shocked to see people, especially Muslims, posting pictures of them not only touching/petting, but hugging and carrying the adorable dogs. My thought was "leceh nyaaa kene samak baju segala.." 

True enough, the event received mixed review. Ada yang sokong tapi banyaknya memang bash la those Muslims yang bangga bergambar peluk anjing. Lain objective, lain yang jadi. Hakak-hakak yang pelok anjing tu naik sheikh agaknya bergambar tak ingat siap ada caption bangga.

Answering my question on hukum memegang anjing untuk suka-suka, here's a fatwa by Jakim:


i love UAI's take on this:

Haa.. Moh peluk biawak!


In the end, i think that the event brings more harm than good. Ko nak pegang anjing ke peluk ke, sila lah. Tak perlu buat kempen camni. Ade je anak-anak dato', tan sri bela anjing. Lantak dia la. Tak ajak orang maka orang pon tak la bising. 

Benda camni menimbulkan pergaduhan. Last-last Muslim sama Muslim gak bergaduh and non-Muslims akan pandang serong kat Islam 'itu tak boleh ini tak boleh' katanya. Apa pon takbley..

Let's just live in peace and respect each other's belief.



p/s: bak kata kawan aku, benda yang dilarang la orang nak buat. Tapi bagi aku, sendiri kena ingat pada pegangan. Contohnya aku teringin nak ada tattoo. Tapi dah benda tu haram, kene la ikot hukum hoii. Sama la kisah pegang anjing ni. Tak payah nak liberal sangat la.






Monday, October 13, 2014

A Little Update

i seriously miss blogging.

The past two months have been eventful that i hardly have time to write. Work is crazy. personal life is also crazy. In a nutshell:

1) Shaf Got Engaged
- My bestfriend, Shaf, got engaged to her boyfriend Shafiq!

The bride-to-be & i
Please please notice that i'm wearing my wedding skirt. Happy mak sebab still muat walopon ketat sket. Muahahaha 

Bestfriends since 1999
Sebelom tu kawan je tak kawan baik. Baahaha.

2) Family + GF Vacay in Lombok
- Shaf, Shaq, Mr. Chenta, Afif and i spent 4 days 3 nights in Lombok. That place is so beautiful it deserves an entire post for itself. Will upload it sometime this week. i promise!

View at The Chandi Resort & Spa, Lombok.

3) Afif & Rotavirus
-Tak sempat habis rasa ke-best-an becuti di Lombok, Afif kene diarrhea yang dahsyat. It all started during our flight back from Lombok to KL. Lagi sejam nak sampai KL, dia start poo poo dalam flight. Ok fine tukar pampers. Ok je poo poo dia tak cair or anything. 20 minutes after that, kitorang bau lagi dia poo poo. Busok. Pastu nampak pampers dah nak bocor kat tepi tu. Cepat-cepat tukar kat lavatory. Sampai airport, poo poo lagi.
- We reached home at about 6pm. He continued poo poo yang cair. Kesian. Malam tu demam yang panas. Kasi PCM pon kejap je kebah. Pastu demam balik.
- The next morning, kami risau sebab demam tak reda and masih diarrhea. Bawak dia gi PCMC's ER. His temperature was 39.9°C! Doctor and nurse cecepat masukkan ubat bontot (first time ever for him) and lap badan dia ngan kain basah. Unfortunately, wad paedriatric was full. We chose to go to Columbia Asia Setapak (CAS) instead.
- Sampai CAS, jumpa paed nama Dr. Faizal. Dia check Afif. Thankfully he did not look dehydrated yet. Menangis still keluar air mata. Bibir only a bit dry. But he admitted Afif to the ward, just to make sure he's well hydrated.
- We spent 3 days at the hospital. On the second day memang confirm Afif kene rotavirus. Thankfully he didn't puke. Not even once. Tapi memang berbelas kali la kuar masuk toilet basuh poo poo dia. Kesian dengan bontot melecetnya. Dah la second day tu aku sorang yang jaga dia coz hubby had to go to work.
- Bila dah discharged, dia still cirit birit kat rumah. Thankfully the next day terus okay. Alhamdulillah.
- i honestly did not think that the food or water in Lombok caused the diarrhea. Coz we were pretty choosy of where and what we eat (except for on the third day makan kat warung. Tapi kalo kene kat situ, mesti la within hours dia dah start cirit). i think the baby changing room at the airport that we went to just before departing is the culprit.

It's crazy how much difference a day could make. 
One day he's at his healthiest, bersuka ria kat Lombok. The next day terlantar kat katil hospital.

 Time ni memang nak berkepit je la. 
Asalnya aku tengah in-training to wean him off the breast. But since he's sick, he only wants to breastfeed 24/7. Reject trus susu formula.

Kesian boring dok spital Memang ngadap Upin Ipin, Barney and Pocoyo je la kat iPad.
Ada hikmah jugak sakit. Dia tetiba pandai sebut 3 words in those 3 days. 
Ani = Barney
Air = Air (sebab tengok aku asik bancuh Ribena+garam ORS tu)
Ish = Fish

4) Sister-in-law Flew Off to UK to Further Study
- My sister-in-law, Farah, is now a postgraduate student at University of Surrey. She's Afif's favorite aunt, sebab memang dok skali pon. Dia yang gi study, aku yang excited. i now have a reason to go to UK again! Muahahaha..

Sending Kakak off to UK.
Yang bestnya, MIL pon ikot sebab nak settlekan dia kat sana. Ikot hati nak je ikot skali. Kalo la duit tumbuh kat pokok..


5) Mr. Chenta is Now a Temporary Stay-at-home Dad!
- Because Afif needs round the clock interaction with us, ideally i have to stay at home and be his speech therapist. i did that earlier this year (3-months unpaid leave). Kali ni, laki aku plak voluntarily offer diri nak jaga Afif. Nak merasa plak katanya. So he's on 3-months unpaid leave jugak. Is he a superdaddy or what? i'm one lucky girl!
- So far so good. Baru dia tau penatnya jadi full time househusband. Dr. Basha is so impressed seeing Afif's improvement after only 1-week hubby cuti. Sapa kata mak je yang pandai jaga anak?

6) Afif Turned 2!
- Last Saturday was Afif's second birthday! Time passes by just like that. Sebab tahun lepas takde any birthday celebration untuk dia (seketul kek pon takde wey), we decided to throw him a party. This too, deserve a whole post for itself. Will update later.

Okay that's all i got for now. Till next post!



Monday, August 4, 2014

Overly Attached Son

Anak bujang.. Memang orang kata sangat manja dengan mama dia. Afif pon. Memang manja memang clingy dengan aku. Tapi manja dan clingy dia tak la over possessive. Dia tak kisah pon kalo aku main or bermesra dengan baby lain.

Or so i thought.

Until last Wednesday.

Hubs' best friend, Faiz and Shila together with the cute Ayra datang beraya. i though Afif and Ayra could get along well like they did last time. Harapan tinggal harapan. Aku dukung Ayra, dia nangis datang siap nk pukul Ayra. Nasib baik aku sempat tahan. Pastu dia peluk aku kuat-kuat. Dok je kat riba aku and kalo main pon, jeling-jeling nak make sure Ayra tak manje-manje ngan aku. Pastu Ayra main toys dia yang dia tak main pon, pastu dia datang laju-laju, rampas toy tu, letak tepi and blah. Sigh, bila dah nampak asik gaduh je, aku kasi diorang iPad and pasang Upin Ipin dengan harapan boleh berdamai. Harapanku hancur. Afif dok depan-depan iPad tu sambil pegang. Dengki tahap gaban.

Malam tu pegi beraya. Ada la sorang baby ni baya-baya dia jugak. Aku tak dukung pon budak tu. Just salam and pgang tangan je. Dia nampak dari jauh, laju-laju datang dengan muka nak lepuk budak tu. Cepat2 aku dukung dia.

OMG sejak bila anak Mama kedekut Mama and kedekut toys ni??

That phase has come for him. The self-centered, everything-is-mine phase. 

p/s: camni nyer perangai, camne awak nak ada adik? :p

Thursday, July 10, 2014

Ramadhan Rants

Awal Ramadhan tahun ni sedih sikit untuk aku.

Pertamanya sebab ketiadaan suami terchenta. Seperti yang telah aku bebelkan di post-post sebelum ni, Mr. Chenta kene gi outstation. Tapi syukur yang amat, hari ketiga puasa dia kembali ke pangkuan keluarga dah. Wiwiwi..

Keduanya yang sedih adalah sebab aku celebrate first day Ramadhan kat hospital.

Yup. Kat hospital, uols. Buka pon makanan hospital. Sambil bergenang air mata.

Ok, over.

Ceritanya begini..

Afif kene buat MRI and CT scan. Bab kenapa tu nanti lain post la aku citer. Rupanya bukan gi spital, scan, pastu balik. Disebabkan toddler macam Afif ni tak reti dok diam, kene sedate or bius dia bagi knock out baru dok diam dan boleh scan. Maka bermalam la kat spital. Doktor pulak cam takde time lain kan nak bagi.. Time nak puasa dan takda suami jugak laaa aku kene berkampung kat HUKM tu haa..

Demi anak aku gagahkan je la.

Nak buka first day tu pon mintak ehsan nurse tolong belikan makanan. Tak kuasa aku nak mengejar Afif sambil nak beli makan kat kafeteria. Last-last time buka aku habiskan nasi lauk sup ayam Afif jugak sebab sayang anak aku tak abes makan. Nasi yang nurse tapaukan aku buat makan sahur.

Takpe lah itu puasa chapter satu.

Yang penting skang terasa nikmat puasa sebab di sisi suami terchenta. Hikhik.

Boring gak la kan dok spital. 

Sedih ah camni.


Lagi satu yang baru pasal Ramadhan tahun ni adalah aku baru pindah cubicle. Baahaha pindah cubicle pon kecoh kan? Tapi ye, aku rasa ia adalah macam a fresh start. A colleague is moving to another department, so kiranya aku kene take over most of his jobs. Which is a challenge for me as he left a huge shoe to fill. Dia serba serbi lagi terer dari aku dalam bab keje ni. So aku amek inisiatif tukar cubicle ni supaya physically dekat dengan tempat boss baru aku (selama ni aku rasa bos lupa aku wujud), and dekat dengan team mate yang lain. Funny how a change of scenery can lift your spirit.

Ape lagi nak bebel ye?

Oooohhh.. did you know i lost 3kgs in the 3 weeks that my husband was gone? Angau punya pasal. Ni dia dah balik i bet i'm gonna gain back the 3kilos (and more).

Dah sebulan aku berhenti mengepam di office. Mulanya susah la jugak aku nak let go. Tapi bila pam pon, tak banyak susu, sudah demotivated di situ (my own fault sape suruh pam sekali sehari je kan). Dulu walaupon malas, aku gagahkan jugak ngepam sebab Afif takmo langsung FM.. Ni dia dah suka FM, tu yang malas dah nak pam. Tapi bila aku ade kat rumah memang still bergayut je la 24 jam. Cukup dia 2 tahun nanti memang aku nak wean him off. Mama wants her boobs back!

i should go to bed now. Salam Ramadhan and happy fasting!

Friday, June 27, 2014

A Bit Emotional Today

i'm sure most of you have heard about adik Muhammad Firdaus Dullah yang ditinggalkan dalam keadaan teramat kotor dan teramat kurus kering. Ya Allah bila aku nampak snippet berita itu di Facebook memang berair mata aku. Tak sanggup tengok video yang di-upload.

Anyway, i'm not here to judge or bash the mom. Biar lah keyboard warriors dan masyarakat umum memaki dia di serata Malaysia. Yes, what she did is beyond cruel and the biggest punishment is the shame and guilt she's in, abandoning her OKU son like that. Tapi sape la aku untuk layak memaki hamun dia kan. Something must've gone wrong somewhere for the mother to suddenly abandon him like that (but 'kesempitan hidup' is definitely not the acceptable reason). And i hope and pray that i will NOT turn into that kind of mother whatever the reason is. Nau'zubillah min zalik.

Bila nampak adik tu, aku teringat Afif. Yes my son, Afif. He's OKU too. Thankfully he's only deaf, bukan lah ada cerebral palsy, autism, etc. 

Afif, oh God, Afif..
Mama loves you so much.
You're perfect to me in your imperfection.
i thought i have loved my best when i fell in love with your daddy but you prove that there's a whole new kind of unconditional love.

i pray to Allah that i can be the best mother for you.
To protect you.
To raise you whole.
To raise you as a good Khalifah.
To not abandon you in any way; emotionally, mentally and spiritually.
To love you in good times, and especially in the hard times. (God knows how hard it is sometimes)
To always have patience.
And hopefully to not die before you can survive on your own for i know how lost it is to live without parents.

Amin, ya Rabb. Amin.
Semoga panjang jodoh kita.

 Berhingus ke, banyak akal ke, malas gosok gigi ke, Mama sayang Afif.

Macam pompuan ke, suka dera Barney (and Mama) ke, pekak ke.. Mama sayang Afif.

Wednesday, June 25, 2014

LDM Day 16

This long distance marriage thing is no kidding.

Maaf lah i'm a bit whiny in this post. Ni first time berjauhan ngan suami. Memang aku meroyan sket.

First there's this i-miss-my-husband issue. It feels so strange not being able to call him at work just because i want to call him. Because he's always on the plane, we can't promptly reply each other's Whatsapp. Our Whatsapp thread looks a bit like this:

 Me: baby.. Makan apa tu dinner 

*no response*8 hour later* 

Husband: Hey baby baru sampai ni, baru habis breakfast and check in hotel.

Kejap kat Quito, kejap Sao Paulo, kejap Brasilia, kejap San Jose..

And do not get me started on the time difference. Our time difference vary from 11 hour to 13 hours depending of his wherabout. Time dia bangon, aku tido. Dia tido, aku tengah siang. Nowadays i go to work with bags under my eyes as a result of staying up bergayut telepon sampai 2-3am. Rindu katanya, bergayut la macam time mula bercinta dulu.

Afif pulak macam rindu je daddy dia. Lepas 2 hari laki aku takde, dia dah start ada perangai. Clingy, cepat sentap terus nanges, tantrum. Start develop perangai suka hantuk kepala kat dinding and lantai. Dulu aku tak percaya budak-budak reti rindu rindu ni. Tapi bila aku ada anak sendiri, yes it happens. Yang stress tu bila Facetime tak pulak dilayan daddy dia. Jual mahal. Memang kene banyak je sabar layan perangai anak. 

Dah la haritu kenduri kawen adik aku. Nak kene layan tetamu lagi, jaga Afif lagi. Memang tak glam langsung la aku. Pakai flats je senang nak kejar anak. Not to mention bawak Afif gi appoinment audio, speech therapy and music class without my husband. Nasib baik ada adik ipar aku. Dia la banyak menolong. Tapi ye la kan mana sama ngan suami sendiri.

Pastu aku skang dengar sappy love songs aje. Haih. i'm sappy like that.

But i'm really happy for him. Keje dia jarang dapat travel. Tup tup dapat travel gi tempat exotic cam Latin America ni. Dia gi hiking la, tengok carnival la (tahap macam dlm cter Rio tu orang pakai bra and spender je tepi jalan) and he shopped! Laki aku cheapskate jarang betol shopping. So it's good to see another part of him. Walopon sebenarnya jeles jugak kan. Hihi.

Dah, dah. Come back, be here. We miss you. 

Sincerely, 
Bini yang Meroyan.




Wednesday, June 11, 2014

Afif's Hearing Journey

As you probably know, Afif is hearing impaired.

After a long time of pondering, i have created a blog to specifically record his journey to sounds, to hear and listen and his journey to speak and talk. 

The blog is fairly new. i have lots of ideas for it but being a working mom, memang tak banyak masa la terluang untuk edit blog. Pelan-pelan kayuh la.

Hopefully, parents of deaf or hard-to-hear child/ren can also find the blog helpful. There are not many blogs about raising hard-of-hearing children by our fellow Malaysians, so i hope this blog could make up for the statistics.


p/s: if you know any group/websites/blogs for/about deaf children or parents of deaf children, do let me know.

Monday, June 9, 2014

Halfway Around The World

Last two weeks my husband came home from work and told me an unusual news; he has to go outstation. 

Unusual because in his line of work, there's rarely chance to travel. 

Naturally i was excited for him. He, on the other hand, was not. He's worried about Afif and i as he's supposed to take a long time off work to look after Afif. Dia kata kesian nanti aku kene jaga Afif sorang. 

Bless my husband for being selfless.

We talked about it. I assured him that we'll be okay. He can cuti after the trip. We'll manage. This is a good opportunity for his career development and he should just take it. Go! Dont worry, go.

After lots of convincing, baru dia okay and excited nak gi. 

At work, i found myself typing "how to survive long distance marriage" into Google search. So much for being a strong, independent wife.

And the guessing game began..

Where would he be posted?

Brasil? Lagos? Algeria? Equador? Jeddah?

For how long? A month? Whattt kene extend 3 bulan?

When will he leave? This week? Next week? Sempat ke lepas wedding adik adik aku?






He left this morning.

Tentatively for 3 weeks. God forbid it'll be extended. Please, no. 

Memang next weekend dia takda la masa wedding adik adik aku.

Sigh. 

This is the first time we've been apart for this long since getting married. Needless to say, i'm feeling lost. 

He has not even yet reached his destination and i already am missing him like crazy.

As for Afif.. Takda perasaan pon masa hantar daddy dia pagi tadi. Sibok main escalator (-____-)




I can only pray that he's always safe from harm, under the Almighty's guidance and care. Semoga takde flight attendants or hot Latina kat sana ngorat dia ke ape. Semoga i am given the strength to look after my never-out-of-energy-and-banyak-akal toddler. Semoga cepat boleh jumpa.

Amin.

P/s: kalo outstation London/Paris/Australia memang aku amek je cuti panjang ikot dia ke sana.