Wednesday, August 17, 2016

Two Sick Kids & An Exhausted Mama

i'm a zombie.

A real life zombie at work today.

Afif has been having super bad cough.. It's been more than 2 weeks. Kejap ok tapi kang jadi teruk balik. We brought him to the paed twice and a normal clinic once but he still coughing up a storm, especially at night. Brapa hari dah ponteng skolah.

Dhani pulak.. Batuk-batuk tu satu hal. On Monday i got a panic call while at work. SIL said Dhani is having a mild fever with rashes all over his body. i rushed home and brought him to the clinic and he's diagnosed with chicken pox. Haih mana la plak dapat chicken pox ni sayang.. keluar rumah pon jarang sebab SIL yg babysit dia kat rumah.

So back to why i'm a zombie.. i haven't been sleeping properly for the past week. Tetiap malam ade je kes anak batuk smpai muntah (and once, i had to change the bedsheet TWICE!). Semalam is the ultimatum, i guess sebab Afif batuk (thank God tak muntah) and Dhani pulak mengempeng thru the night and for some reason my boob hurts mcm kene mastitis. And for some weird reason, all these late night anak sakit always happen when my husband is on the night shift, hence why i have to deal with it alone.


i swear if i'm rich i'd take a half day leave and check in at Mandarin Oriental next door just to get a few hours of sleep. Kalau balik rumah pon takleh tido coz the kids are at home and will not leave my side.

Kesian. Tertido pas balik dari klinik. 

Chicken pox or not, masih aktif this cheeky one!

Zombie or not, alhamdulillah for my husband and sons.

Friday, July 8, 2016

A Tired Mama Rant

Selamat Hari Raya!

Today is the third day of Syawal 1427H. Hari ni kitorang tak beraya pon sebab semalam Mr. Chenta kerja syif malam, harini pon kerja malam. So dia tido je siang tadi. Jangan ler harap aku nak pi beraya bawak budak 2 orang ni kalo takde laki aku.

And tonight, i feel like ranting and whining.

i know that i am so, so lucky to be blessed with a happy marriage, a husband who is also my best friend and two happy, healthy and handsome sons. i'm so thankful for them and never have i ever wanted to change that. But let's face it; life is a bitch and mothering is not for the faint hearted.

Man, i'm SO TIRED!

i'm so tired of sleeping on my side, one (or both) boobs out because Dhani still breastfeeds 3-4 times at night.

i'm so tired of not sleeping however long i want like i used to. The kids will be up and happy early in the morning. "Mama, bangonnn. Dah siang!" Afif would say.

i'm so tired of Afif not having the sense of urgency especially when we're late. Time nak cepat la nampak rama-rama la, nak shishi la, nak bagi kete polis makan la, terhegeh-hegeh pakai kasut la. Boy, time waits for no man!

i'm so tired of washing and folding and arranging endless clothes and laundry. Can't they wash and arrange themselves?

i'm so tired of not being able to explore new restaurants,indulge in good food and spend hours savouring and talking over food at restaurants. Afif will sure walk (and run) around the restaurants and Dhani will try to grab everything on the table and follow Afif around. These days we would chew, chew, swallow our food, gulp our drinks and get out of there ASAP. Either that or tapau.

i'm so tired of watching Finding Nemo, Planes, Planes: Fire & Rescue, all 3 Kung Fu Panda, all 2 Cars, Didi & Friends and all the damn cartoon. Can't i have the TV one freaking day all to myself?

i'm so tired of people judging and saying things/making faces when Afif misbehave, tantrum, being naughty and mischievous. Yes, he's gonna be 4 this year. Yes, he does not act and talk like kids his age. YES, people, i know! It's not our parenting skill, his therapist confirmed that. He is deaf and he got other issues that you don't know. So if you can't help/cope/face it, just go the fuck away. Hishhhh.

i'm so tired of feeling incompetent and insecure at work. i feel like i could do better, i should do better.

i'm so tired of not having enough time to work, be a mother, be a wife, keep the house clean, cook, and the bloody laundry..

i'm so tired of my messy and cacat sini sana house. i'm so gonna apply loan and renovate the crib this year.

i'm so tired of being fat. i have these stubborn 2 kgs that won't go away since i had Dhani. They seem to hang on my boobs and ass and my ass is so big and fugly now. Urgh.

i'm so tired of my brother and his drama. 

i'm so tired of my skin. Lately i've been having pimples and my eyebags are worse and my skin seems to lose its glow. The girl who does my facials said because of fasting, my skin was dehydrated. Well, they better be okay now coz i'm tired of looking like shit.

i'm so tired of not being able to go for a beach vacay. God, i miss the beach.

i'm so tired of the phase that Afif is in right now; he likes to hit. Excited, lepuk orang. Marah, pukul orang. Seriously where did he learn to lepuk-lepuk ni? Dhani pon terikut dah.


Reading all these make me feel like an ungrateful bitch.

My period must've been approaching. Otherwise the bitch inside of me won't surface.

Til later.

Sunday, June 12, 2016

Dhani's First Birthday

I am such a horrible mom.

My baby Dhani turned 1 LAST APRIL and I didn't even mention it in my blog.

Forgive me baby. It doesn't mean that I love you any less than I love your brother. My lack of update simply means that I'm too busy looking after you guys that I don't have time to blog. 

Dhani's first day on Allah's earth.

At 3 months old. Temankan afif kat spital masa buat cochlear implantation surgery.

Okay. let's talk about Dhani.


The last time I blogged about Dhani's developmental milestone when he was 5 month young. Time tu dia baru nak start merangkak. He is an early crawler I think, sebab at 6+ month dia dah merangkak ke sana-sini. Masuk 8-9 bulan camtu dia pandai bangun sendiri dah pastu meniti keliling rumah. Mane leh berpaut dia berpaut lah. Paling feveret dia berpaut kat lutut kitorang pastu takmo lepas sebab mintak dukung. Haha.

On his majlis Aqiqah in Kuching.
Time ni la dia tetiba pandai merangkak laju pulak tu.

Masa 9.5 bulan dia dah try melangkah. 1-2 tapak jatuh. Lepas tu 2-3 tapak jatuh. Wan dah confident gila kata Dhani ni nanti umur 10 bulan dah boleh jalan la niii.. Tapiiii sampai 11 bulan pon tak jalan sendiri lagi. Haha. Dia ada demam skali right before his first birthday. Lepas demam tu terus tanak bertatih atau cuba jalan dah.

Start nak berjalan masa umur 11bulan. 2-3 tapak jatuh. Almost 2 mths later baru berjalan lancar. Huhu.

At last, finally 1 month ago, dia berjalan banyak tapak dah. Dhani is officially an independent walker at almost 13 month old. teehehe! Skang memang berjalannnnn je la keje dia. Terkedek-kedek daripada hall ke dapur, berjoget bagai. He can even walk up and down the stairs (berpaut kat railing, of course).

Dhani likes to talk. He can say a few words already. "Nak nenen" is his favourite. Haha. His common words are ata (atas), pah (kipas), daddy, ngah (mak ngah) along with other words lah. Dulu masa dengan Afif, he can't say much at this age (obviously because of his deafness) but I thought normal la budak setahun takleh cakap langsung. Skang dah ada Dhani baru tau yang at 1 year, babies really should have had a few words already.

Likes & Dislikes

His favorite person is me, of course. Berani dia suka orang lain lebih? Afif is also his favorite person. Kalau Afif gi sekolah nampak la dia bosan and lost. Quite surprisingly, my Mak Ngah is also his favorite person. Mak Ngah is almost always on the couch, bila Mak Ngah bangun gi dapor dia mesti sebok nk ikut. Pastu suka randomly datang and hug mak ngah. Haha. Daddy dia pon dia sayang. Randomly datang kat Mr. Chenta mintak cium. Haha.

Wefie with Mama at 10mths old
*excuse my bare face tak cukup tidur itu*

Favorite show was Cars then it's Planes: Fire & Rescue and now it's Pororo (after our recent trip to Seoul).

He loves plain water. Hates baby food since he was 11 months old. He eats whatever we feed Afif. Senang la jugak keje aku takyah buat and blend porridge, puree bagai. Walaupon dia tembam, dia makan tak banyak. Tembam susu agaknya budak ni. Dia suka makan biskut, keropok ikan dan roti. Aiskrim pon dia suka woih. Nampak orang makan dia akan cakap "Nak, nak, nak. nak ni!"

He loves to hear me sing. Favorite songs are Twinkle-twinkle (sambil dia buat tangan twinkle bila aku nyanyi), Old McDonald, Row Your Boat, Johny Johny.. Kalau aku nyanyi pastu stop, dia marah. Soh nyanyi lagi sampai lebam. Haha.

He also loves to read. I think it's because of our routine bedtime story session. Asal nampak buku je membelek. His favorite book so far is Dot & Dash Go to Bed and any books about Lightning McQueen.

He loves looking at the cats and say "yawww"

Alhamdulillah Dhani seorang yang mellow dan tak banyak ragam.Tapi clingy nya ya Rabbi. Kene tinggal sikit, nanges. Walopon aku ke jamban je.


He loves cuddling with me. Hehe. Pastu suke ajak org keluar. Asal aku balik keje dia mintak dukung and ajak kuar. Lagi satu benda dia paling suka adalah baca buku. Can you believe it? Randomly he'd point to a cupboard where we put their books in our room and say "Ku! Ku!" (buku!)

Latest, dia suka menconteng. I was at work one day when my SIL whatsapp-ed me a picture of Dhani's hand covered in blue ink with a caption "Anak ko conteng dinding rumah. Habis ni haaa". True enough, I came home to find a wall covered with mishmash of scribble.

Suka bubble bath berdua.

If i have to choose the caption for this photo, it'd be THE TROUBLEMAKERS.
Skang hobi dia memanjat. I cant leave him unattended kalau tak habis lah.

Breastfeeding Journey

What can i say.. He loves the boobs and the milkies. He sucks for comfort and for food. i still pump and express milk at work but sadly i can't produce much anymore. Sebenarnya boleh je kot tapi memang kene extra extra effort. Kalau setakat pam 2 kali sehari dapat la 6-9oz je. Haritu seminggu aku selsema demam batuk, seminggu la production merudum sampai 2oz je per day. Stok kat rumah memang takda so dah campur la dengan fm. Boleh je aku tak pam langsung dah and fully fm while i'm at work and bf in the evening je. Tapi sebagai mak, aku ade attachment issue jugak. Cam kesiannyaaa anak aku takda susu ibu. Sikit pon better than nothing la kan? And it helps me maintain my weight. Hehe. So selagi mampu, aku continue jugak bf and pump at work.


For his birthday, we didn't have any party or big celebration. Just beli brownies fro A'ai pastu nyanyi happy birthday and tiup lilin kat rumah. Reason being are:
1) kami pemalas nak party jemput orang bagai.
2) bukannya bebudak ni ingat pon first birthday. Ada gambar dengan kek cukup syarat dah la kan?
3) instead of a party, we wanna make it a tradition to go for a holiday for each and every child's birthdays. Yes, they might not remember it but we remember. It's like a celebration of look-we-survived-his/her-first-year! That's why we went to Perth for Afif's birthday.

So for Dhani's first birthday, we went to Seoul! Actually agak belated la sebab aku kene gi kursus 2 bulan masa birthday dia tu. End up, almost 2 weeks after his birthday baru gi. Hehe.

Gambar passport katanyaaa

A very small birthday celebration to mark his first year. 

Dhani & Mama at Nami Island!

At Pororo's music room, Lotte World, Seoul.


What more can i say? i love LOVE LOVE this boy. He has 7 teeth already and when he smiles.. That smile lights up my entire life. Such a happy baby. And he imitates words almost immediately, mulut dia boleh tahan becok jugak.

Dhani, i want you to know that i love you so very much. You light up my world with your cheekiness and easy-going personality. You being clingy sometimes is an inconvenience but secretly that's what i love about us; it makes me feel like i'm needed and so loved. i pray that you grow up to be a great man, healthily and happily.

Mama loves you so much. Don't forget that.

My SuperBaby.

Tuesday, May 3, 2016

Seoul Trip: Our Accommodation

Percaya tak aku menulis ni dalam flight dari Incheon, South Korea to KL? Haha semangat kan? The boys are sleeping and i'm not feeling sleepy. Might as well start blogging about our trip. Tapi post harini sebabnya takda wifi dalam kapal terbang. Haha.

We planned and booked our flight tickets and accommodation around 2 weeks before departure. Pretty last minute. That is one of the perks of being an airline staff (thanks to Hubster). 

So mana nak stay kat Seoul? Masa buat research nak cari tempat tinggal ni, i have a few criteria:

1) yang boleh muat all 5 of us (Hubster, the kids, my SIL and myself) in one space. Our options are family rooms in hotels or apartments. Guest house tak sesuai sebab kebanyakan guest house bunk bed. Camno nak tido ngan anak2 yg suke berpelok ni ha.
2) Less than 10 minutes walk from subway station which is our main transportation in Seoul
3) dekat dengan tempat makan halal because we know South Korea does not have abundant Halal restaurants 
4) Bonus point kalau ada kitchen so boleh masak. Jimat sket.

Selepas mengambil kira dan buat research ala kadar, we decided to stay at Itaewon area because of point number 3. Memula nak book family room kat Hamilton Hotel yg bebetul depan subway tapi sbb penuh, we booked a 2-bedroom homestay (apartment) through Airbnb. The apartment is around 10 minutes walking time from Itaewon station, ada dapur siap. So all criteria 1,2,3, 4 sudah dipenuhi. Yezzaaa!

As a first time user, i find that booking through Airbnb is easy. Our host, Jang-Soon is very accommodating. Sebelum smpai Seoul, a few times gak aku message dia tanya itu ini and request iron. Semua dia jawab dengan professional. Siap kasi guidebook untuk memudahkan kitorang cari rumah tu bila sampai. 

First time nak mencari rumah ni mencabar la jugak walaupun diberi guide book. Sebabnya perumahan kat sini cam tak teratur. Banyak lorong kecik. Tapi staff tuan rumah ni datang jumpa kitorang tengah jalan selepas diberitahu through Whatsapp yg kitorang sesat. Lepas tu okay je tak salah jalan dah. Rumah sangat bersih, walaupun kecik sket than expected. Ada kuali, periuk, pinggan mangkuk bagai. Sabun pinggan, sabun mandi n shampoo, even minyak masak pun dia sediakan. Home away from home gitu. 

Total price for 5 days 4 nights is RM1900 for 5 people. Ni dah termasuk service and cleaning charges. Harga sebenarnya in Korean Won so kalau masa book tu Won tengah rendah, lagi murah la dapat.

Enjoy the pictures:

This is how the apartment is listed in Airbnb

Bedroom #1
*baby not included*

Bedroom 2

*baby not included*


Main area
No couch or sofa. Just a small space with dining table and tv. 

All in all, we're satisfied with our accommodation. Tapi nak warning sket jalan kat Itaewon ni berbukit-bukit. Mengah la jugak aku jalan sambil baby carry Dhani and tolak Afif dalam stroller. Terbukti betapa tak fitnya aku. Haha.  Yang bestnya location sangat strategik. Dekat train, kedai runcit, bakery, kedai makan halal berlambak within 5-15 minutes walk. 

Next post i'll tell you more about my Seoul trip. Bye.

Saturday, April 30, 2016

A Post from Seoul

Anyeong haseyo!

I'm blogging on my rented apartment bed all the way from Seoul, guys!

Kitorang sampai haritu hari Rabu, 8.30am. So far we have covered Namsangol hanok village, N Seoul Tower, Nami Island, Myeong Dong street and Namdaemun Market. Makan pon dah pelbagai makanan aku telan. 

Hari ni nak bawak anak-anak bersuka-ria di Pororo Theme park plak.

Speaking of which, traveling with 2 toddlers is sooo different than the traveling we used to do when we were childless. Tiring, challenging, menguji kesabaran adalah antara perkataan yg menggambarkan pengalaman ini. I don't think i'll even attempt to travel abroad when i have 3 kids. 

Will blog about our trip in the next posts. Till then, #muahciked


Monday, March 14, 2016

Breastfeeding Dhani

I'm typing this while expressing milk at work. 

*insert bunyi pam Medela. Trett trett trett*

Dhani is lucky i was on leave until he was 8 month old. Dah depan mata, mmg drp lahir smpai la 8 bulan tu fully breastfed and direct feed je la. Bergayutttt je keje dier. Tu yang semangat je badan. Manja terlebih. How i love being there all the time to breastfeed him.

Sejak aku masuk keje January hari tu, kene la pam kat office untuk bekalan dia. Jadi ibu bekerja ni memang nak fully breastfeed adalah cabaran. Memula tu lebat production. First mornung session boleh dpt 8-10oz. In total sehari boleh la dapat dlm 18-20oz mengikut tahap kerajinan mengepam. Lagi2 the first few weeks tu aku tak byk keje. Sehari at least 3 kali aku bertapa kat mother's room.

Makin lama makin busy kat office. Sehari 2 kali je sempat pam. Tapi ok la lagi. Stok makin lama makin habis smpai aku pam harini cukup-cukup untuk esok. Kiranya takde frozen stok dah la. Salah sendiri la jugak malas buat stok banyak-banyak time maternity/unpaid leave.

Tapi skarang sedihnyeee lahai production. The past one week memang merudum dengan ketaranya sebab aku period. Paling nak nanges kalau pam satu ounce pon tak sampai. 

Setengah orang memang naturally big producer. Aku pulak tergolong dalam kategori work hard for it. Pernah try Shaklee kononnya milk booster but that didn't work for me. Jaga makan, regular pumping baru la banyak hasil. Based on my 3 years plus of breastfeeding my boys (Afif breastfeed sampai umur 2 tahun 3 bulan, Dhani almost 11 months dah umur dia..and counting) meh aku share sedikit sebanyak tips.

Tips Menyusu Badan Tanpa Makan Supplement Pelik-pelik

1) Makan Mesti Cukup
Tak wujud istilah diet in my years as being a mom. Asal lapar, makan. Nasik wajib 2 kali sehari at least. My meals have to have all food group; carbs, protein and fiber. Takde maknenye lah aku nak skip nasik bagai. Snacks in between meal pon wajib.

Tapi jangan lah mentekedarah terlebih dgn alasan breastfeeding. Quality is as important as quantity. I limit sugary, oily and junk food. Sehari sekali je aku benarkan diri ini minom benda manis. Kalau pagi dah minom latte memang the rest of the day air masak je lah. Snacks pon pilih yang berkhasiat ye. Fruits, biskut tawar, roti with peanut butter tu ok laa. Certain days to aku mentakedarah jugak snacks brownies by A'ai bagai haha.

Alhamdulillah berat aku maintain je la. Masih lebih berat drp zaman studi tapi dah dapat la pre-pregnancy weight tu. 

Fact: Breastfeeding burns 450-500 calories per day.

2) Air Mesti Lebih
Part ni aku selalu kantoi. Alasannya sebab busy keje lupa minom air. Haha. Hari yang aku beringat, memang bergelen minom PLAIN WATER insyaAllah lebat la production. Kalau tak, sendu je ler. How much is enough you ask? Aku pon taktau secara saintifiknya. Tapi kalau aku habiskan sebotol besar mineral water time kat opis tu, lebat la production.

i'm an avid coffee drinker. Myth has it that kalau minom kopi, susu tak banyak. i can say that it's just a myth, guys. Aku minom kopi, insyaAllah susu still ada DENGAN SYARAT banyakkan minom air masak. Kopi bersifat diuretik (menyebabkan kita lebih kerap kencing) maka kalau minom kopi, top up banyak-banyak dengan air untuk mengelakkan dehydrated & banyakkan susu.

3) Know Your Milkbooster
Milkbooster ni subjective untuk setiap orang. Among the milkboosters i heard are milk, dates, habbatussauda, pegaga, etc. In reality not all milkboosters work on all breastfeeding mama.

Contohnya aku tak berubah pon production susu kalau makan pegaga, susu, alfalfa, kacang gajus. Tapi kalau aku makan sayur pucuk manis masak lemak, lobak putih, dan air rendaman halba, baru banyak susu. Maka rajin-rajin la observe makanan/air apa yg membantu banyakkan susu uols.

4) Regular Pumping/Direct Feed
Ni memang tak dinafikan. i'm sure you have read in the gazillions of breastfeeding articles; in order to have SUPPLY, you have to have DEMAND. Kalau kat rumah tu selalulah breastfeed anak. i have no problem in this area because both my boys adalah penyonyot tegar. 

Untuk ibu-ibu bekerja, nak tak nak kene luangkan masa mengepam. i know it could be hard to find time. Dengan dateline projek, meeting, outstation, kursus bagai.. It's a sacrifice you have to make. i know moms who expresses milk even in class when attending a course and in meeting rooms. And i personally have had an experience of pumping in a bus during a 1-week geological fieldtrip. Pernah jugak pam dalam tandas masa gi workshop sebab tak jumpa surau/mother's room. Yes it is tedious but the satisfaction of knowing your baby gets the goodness of a mother's milk makes it worth it.

5) Jangan Stress

i find the more you're stressed out about not producing enough for your child, the less your body makes milk. Maka jangan stress. Cuba yang terbaik. Amalkan segala yang boleh untuk banyakkan susu. Kalau takde/tak cukup susu ibu, there's always ibu susuqn option. Or else, there's always formula milk.

Dulu masa dengan Afif aku selalu stress kalau susu tak cukup. Sejak dah anak 2 ni, i've lightened up a bit. Dhani pon masa umur dia 9 bulan camtu aku dah bagi je susu formula sebab tak cukup stok ebm dah kat rumah. He needs 15-20oz per day. So sehari dalam 3-6oz kene minom formula lah sebab skang ni aku mampu bekalkan max 15oz je per day. But that's okay. i can rest and not make a big deal out of it because i know i've done my best.

Breastfeeding is not just about providing milk for your baby. It's much more than that. It's the way you bond during those feeding sessions; the way your eyes lock on one another, the way your baby smiles cheekily-as if saying "thank you mama, for that yummy milk", the way he/she searches for you at night with eyes close but can still find his/her way to the milk-source, the cuddles during and after every feed, the way he/she NEEDS you and the fact that no other person can fulfill that need but you.

InsyaAllah, i'll breastfeed him as long as he wants me to.

Hah tu je la sedikit sebanyak experience sharing. Dah nak habis mengepam dah pon ha.

Hasil pagi ni.

Monday, February 29, 2016

Makan-Makan: Sweetree Korean Restaurant

My sister-in-law is a huge HUGE K-Pop fan. When we asked where she wants us to treat her for her birthday, Korean food is the natural answer.

This time, we went to Sweetree.

Sweetree is the only JAKIM-certified halal Korean restaurant in Malaysia. It's located in Ampang (i call the area 'Little Korea') so it's very convenient for us to get there from Wangsa Maju. 

The shop is 2-storey and the interior is very quirky, giving a cute-Korean ambiance. We were greeted in Korean by the friendly staff, i feel like i'm in Seoul already. There were not that many people when we arrived but at around 8.15pm, the place is packed with people, mostly Muslims. Wow Korean food really is the in thing right now eh? Even with the restaurant almost full, service was fast. We only had to wait 5-10 minutes for our drinks and foods to arrive.

We were served with a bowl of plain porridge with a little bit of what I assumed as kimchi sauce and various condiments. The porridge is rather plain and bland (which is suitable for babies and kids) but eating it with condiments were yums!

Farah's Jjangmyun was not my cup of tea. It tastes a bit like mee hailam with teochew. I love the Dolsot Bi Bimbap but be careful when adding in the spicy sauce. Pedas! Nasib baik tuang sikit-sikit. I ordered Gal Bi Jim which is short ribs braised in soy sauce (basically rusuk masak kicap versi kering la ni). The ribs are soft and tender. I just wish it's a bit soupy. Takde la kering je makan ngan nasik. The Korean pancake is marvelous, I'd recommend!

If you're not a fan of Korean food, there are also Malaysian dishes in the menu. We ordered Mihoon Goreng for Wan and Mihoon Tomyam for Makngah.

Complimentary Appetizer: plain porridge with condiments

Condiments for the porridge

 Farah's Jjajangmyun
Noodles in black bean sauce with minced chicken and cucumber.
Mangkok tu legend. Besar macam pasu bunga!

 Birthday girl!

 Spring onion pancake with prawn and squid

My Gal Bi Jim
Beef short ribs braised in soy sauce gravy served with rice

Mr. Chenta's Dolsot Bibimbap
Warm rice topped with cooked veges, beef, eggs and served in hot stone bowl. It stays hot til the dish is all finished.

 One of the many decoration on the first floor.

Posing with the pretty noona!

All in all, I'd recommend Sweetree if you're looking for an authentic Halal Korean food. Friendly staff, prompt service, delicious food all checked! If only they have a small children play area i'd be ever so happy.. 

Nah ni details Sweetree Restaurant:

Friday, February 26, 2016

Happy International Cochlear Implant Day!

Yesterday was the International Cochlear Implant day.

At first it seems silly to have a cochlear implant day. 

But a cochlear implant is not just that. It's much MORE than that.
To Afif, his cochlear implant is his ear.
Though his hearing aid helps, the quality and quantity of words that he speaks increased dramatically since the switching on of his implant.
Did I tell you that he speaks to himself now with words that I actually understand? I walked in on him talking to himself "Ane Daddy? Daddy cejeee.." (Mana Daddy? Daddy kerja..). Before this it was always mishmash of jargons and some weird German-Swedish language.
He discovers more sound that as much as I hate to admit it, we take for granted.
There was this one afternoon, we were outside. Tetiba berkumandang lah azan Asar. It was faint but loud enough. Upon hearing that, Afif's face lit up and said "Ha!" and pointed to his ear. "Allahuakbar!" he said excitedly and ran inside to watch the tv for azan (he loves watching and listening to Azan on TV) only to find that the tv is actually turned off. He looked puzzled. So I explained to him that azan is actually coming from outside, from the surau nearby. I don't think he understand. He probably thinks that Azan mysteriously comes from the sky or something.
Mental note: MUST bring him to surau/masjid to show him where Azan comes from and the best place to pray.
He can even hear while showering now. His hearing aid is not waterproof so we didn't let him take showers in it. Which is a waste because Afif loves water and there's so many opportunity to teach him through water play. Now with cochlear implant, we're more confident to let him shower and splash around. He wears it during shower, washing car with daddy, and even swimming.. But there was this 2 times his implant didn't work after berendam lama sangat so we were advised not to wear it without the Aqua cover kalau nak berendam.
We owe it to the people who invented cochlear implant.
So today (and everyday) I would like to wish Happy International Cochlear Implant Day!
May the implant continues to let him hear better, speak better and live better!

Friday, February 19, 2016

My Eczema

I have this bad eczema. Very bad eczema.
It's on the palm of my right hand.

I can't pinpoint exactly when it started but I guess some time after Dhani was born. At first it was very mild. Tu yang tak perasan. i had this red patch in right my middle finger. Maybe it was because a particular gold ring that i wore is quite thick so residue of water and soap were trapped underneath.

Over time i notice the skin in my palm gets dried quite easily. Pakai losyen ok lah dia. Lama-lama it turns red and gets very itchy. This happened on off.. So I didn't think too much about it. I just stopped wearing that particular ring.

But even ring-less, it gotten worse in October-November. Red, itchy skin with dots of tiny blister-like 'bubbles' underneath my skin filled with clear fluid or sometimes, pus.

October 2015
Sikit je dekat jari hantu. Gatal, kulit kering but after 4-5 days okay balik.

Starting in middle October, it gets worse and worse. Aku tak bother pon nak jumnpa doctor sebab ingatkan biasa lah ni. Aku cuti dah 6 bulan time tu, so being a SAHM, kerja memang tak habis lah. Basuh baju, basuh pinggan, botol anak, toilet.. Macam-macam detergent kene kulit so sebab tu la kot. Pelik la jugak sebab takde pon tukar sabun ke ape. segala sabun kat rumah memang brand yang biasa pakai bertahun lama. Maybe pas bersalin Dhani hormone aku dah jadi haywire so wujud alergi baru? I don't know.

November 2015
I think this is the second time my palm got red and itchy. Note that it has spread to my ring index finger.

January 31, 2016
The eczema has spred widely to my ring, middle and index finger and my palm. Red skin, itchy dan sangat pedih. Note the tiny red dots of 'bubbles' filled with clear fluid and sometimes pus.
Bila tangan aku dah jadi gini, baru lah aku sedar diri and stop all water-related chores. Botol anak, alat breastpump sume Mr. Chenta uruskan. Cuci pinggan aku minimumkan.. Kalo terpaksa basuh, aku pakai glove. Cuma kalo memasak tu harung je la tp minimize usage of hand soap/dish soap.
Aku tukar sabun mandi aku. Pakai Moogoo Milk Bath. Kalo aku mandikan bebudak tu pon aku pakaikan Moogo. Ointments jangan citer la. Banyak dah aku cuba. Memula pakai krim Beprosil tapi yang ni ada steroid. Bila tau dia ada steroid terus aku stop pakai. Try jugak VCO, Moogoo Skin Balm, and ade lg satu ape ntah brand skin spray ni. Makan pon aku pantang. I stopped eating seafood.

Sakit, gatal pedih dia toksah nak cerita. Bila nak start flare up tu, rasa denyut-denyut tangan. Gatal. Pastu jari-jari aku ni bengkak. Timbul bintik-bintik ada air tu. After 2-4 days like this, dia start kering. Pastu mengelupas. Kering sekering-keringnya. Pedih. Kadang berdarah. Kasar sangat kulit. I can't do anything.
It sucks big time sebab kat TAPAK TANGAN KANAN. Tangan yang buat segala benda. It hurts to write, to hold stuff, to hold my baby, mandikan diorang pon sakit, nak bukak botol/jar (sebab kene genggam and pulas penutup kan?), apatah lagi nak drive.

Tak dapat baying perasaan baby yang penuh eczema kat badan atau muka.

2 February 2016. Siang.
Bila dah kering, kulit mengelupas camni. Rasa sangat kering, pedih and tegang.

2 February 2016. Malam.
Horror kan?

17 February 2016.
It got better tapi certain area kulit rasa nipis sgt and pedih. Certain area kulit kering. Pedih jugak.


Tapi entah la hoi. Dah tukar sabun, stop buat chores pon same je eczema aku. Tak makan seafood, makan ikan pon flare up jugak eczema. On off. I miss my old skin. As kata dulu tangan aku la paling lembut. Skang toksah la cakap. Kalau tak dry up pon, dia nipis and rasa kering bagaikan tak pernah jmpe losyen.
Alhamdulillah semalam and harini rasa ok sket tangan aku. But I know it will flare up again.
Maybe I have to try those gluten-free, MSG-free diet. Maybe I have to really jot down what I eat to identify what food triggers. Maybe I have to spend more on ointments. But in between working and minding my children, I can't afford to really be picky of what I eat. Kat rumah Wan & Mak Ngah memang masak everyday. Tak sampai hati aku nak order makan itu ini or tak makan ape yg dah tersedia. Hati orang tua kan.. Kene jaga.
Sesapa ada experience in managing eczema tolong la share eh?

Friday, February 12, 2016

Potty Training Afif

We didn't really have a plan for the last 4-day weekend. Mr. Chenta has to work which sucks big time, so i thought i might as well do something useful with the boys at home.

And what could be more useful than potty training Afif? 

He is 3 years 4 months already, he would tell us that he's peeing and pooping when he's in the middle of doing those and he seems to know that toilet is for pooping, peeing and showering.

So he's ready right?

Or so I thought.


Portable potty - checked!
Brief/training pants - checked! (I got him the ones with Lightning McQueen on it)
Endless energy for me - Somewhat checked
Patience. Lots of it - Err..

Day 1

We began by me explaining to him that he's gonna wear this Lightning McQueen 'spender', so he needs to tell me when he feels like shishi-ing or pooping.

"Afif tak pakai pampers tau, pampers takde.." I continued to say.

He looked at me, then at his pack of diaper by the bed, and slowly smiled "Tuu.. pa-pesh!" and pointing at his diapers. The kid is too smart for me. "Tu pampers adik.. Afif pakai spender je okay.." He just cheerfully nod like whatever, mama.

Every 15 minutes, I'd ask him if he wants to pee. He would excitedly say "shishi!" and off we go to the loo. Kene tunggu dalam 5-10 minit baru la shishi. Ada kadang tu tak shishi langsung. Lelama aku increase interval to every 20 minutes.

On that first day, 2 kali terbabas sebab aku ignore bunyi timer kat phone sebab leka buat something. Tapi terbabas dia tak la full blown pee. Dia cam dah terkucil sket, pastu dia kata, "shishi!" followed by me madly carrying him and running off to the toilet pastu dia dengan leganya kencing habis. Haha.

Lepas mandi petang aku pakaikan dia pampers. Tak larat dah nak bawak dia every 20 minutes.

Day 2

He got better in the morning. No accident whatsoever sebab every 20 minutes bawak gi toilet. I thought ok la he got the hang of it already. So aku pon tak la duduk je ngan dia. Confident tinggalkan dia and gi masak kat dapur.

Tengah masak tu tengok dia sembunyi tepi dinding sengih-sengih. Aku ingat dia ajak main hide and seek so layan la sambil masak tu. Pastu after 10 minutes tengok dia kat tepi dinding lagi. Aku dah pelik. Tetiba dia kata "Amaa... O'ok!" Tengok-tengok dia dah terberak kat situ ade poopoo dua ketul atas lantai. Haahaha. Kau tak rasa aku menjerit?

Jerit pastu gelak sebab tak sampai hati marah dia. I just emphasize again and again "Afif, nak o'ok shishi bagitau mama.. Kene pegi toilet. Kesian mama penattttt mop lantai"

In total 2 accidents on second day.

Malam aku pakaikan je pampers. Too tired to care.

Taken just before a shishi incident

Day 3

I'm proud to say that he stayed dry the whole day today yay! I still have to bring him to the toilet every 30 minutes. He still needs a few minutes to properly rasa nak kencing. We found out that singing and dancing while waiting to shishi (lagu If You're Happy and You Know it) helps to speed up the process. so bayangkan la everytime gi toilet kitorg nyanyi joget baru dia cepat kencing. haha.

Untuk mengelakkan accident, aku set timer every 30 minutes. So bila dia dengar bunyi phone, automatic dia kata shishi! dan bukak seluar gi toilet.

Malam pakai pampers jugak.

Day 4

I decided I've had enough these past 3 days potty training Afif sorang. Penat kot!! Tunggu next weekend la Mr. Chenta ade boleh la gilir-gilir bawak gi toilet.

Aku pakaikan je dia pampers dari pagi. He looks confused la jugak. Even with diaper on, dia akan announce shishi and ajak gi toilet tapi aku ckp takpe shishi je dalam pampers. The moment I knew I sorta nailed it when he said o'ok and refuse to poo with the diaper on. Mr. Chenta bawak dia gi potty, berak dalam tu.

Like jyeah!

So there you have it. My not-so-successful potty training experience. Nasib baik bila start haritu aku memang didn't have any expectation. Aku tak harap pon after 4 days dia terus pandai gi jamban sendiri takde accident bagai. So aku tak la hampa or stress ke ape. In fact aku rasa dia nak guna potty utk berak tu pon cukup bagus. So will continue this coming weekend dengan harapan aku bertenaga lah nak layan. Haha.

We'll go slow.