Dhani Labor Story: A VBAC

Dhani dah nak dekat 4 bulan baru ada momentum nak bercerita pasal labor experience haa. Banyak benda jadi sampai tak ter-update blog. Now that i have time, i don't know where to start..

But nevertheless here goes.. It's gonna be a long post.

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I was so sure i'm gonna give birth to Dhani in the 37th week because Afif was born at 37 weeks and 2 days. Awal-awal aku dah siapkan ape yang patut kat office, delegate and hand-over kerja, email auto reply semua lah.

Tapi kat rumah, aku kelam kabut sket. i couldn't really find time to pack my hospital bag because i was so busy with Afif. Wanted to spent every single moment with him before he has a sibling. i wanted him to get all my attention but at the same time i can't wait to have another child. Rasa bersalah kat Afif sebab bagi dia adik but rasa bersalah kat adik sebab macam unwelcoming pulak. i know i'm not making sense but you get what i mean?

Anyway, hospital bag siap jugak la akhirnya ngam-ngam masuk 37 weeks.

Braxton Hicks came so frequently starting at 37 weeks. Sometimes they were so intense sampai aku cuak. But i know those are not the real contractions because they are of irregular timing. i had weekly checkups siap kene pakai CTG on week 37, 38, and 39. Dr. Noor Fidak wanted to monitor contraction sebab nak try VBAC kan.. On all those appointments memang ada contraction tapi aku tak rasa sakit sangat. So we were so sure nak beranak dah. Tapi Dhani tak keluar jugak.

Monday

As i mentioned in this post, Mr. Chenta, Afif and i checked in at Pusrawi on a Monday because Afif had severe diarrhea. Time ni memang ada la contraction every 10-15 minutes gitu (for a few days dah actually). Weh sakit weh tahan contraction and jaga Afif diarrhea kuar masuk toilet. Tapi aku gagahkan jugak mencangkung basuh bontot dia bagai coz i want that to ease labor later on.

Tuesday 

At 3pm, i had my checkup. Aku bagitau la contraction dah regular (around 7 minutes apart at that time) and dah sakit. Buat VE, i was 2cm dialated! Dr. Fidak kata tak lama lagi ni. Alang-alang awak dah check-in kat sini, nanti pegi je labor room bila tak tahan sakit. She's quite concern about baby's position as he is a bit posterior. Better position than last week tapi still senget sket.

i went back to Afif's room after the checkup. Aku banyakkan menonggeng and did pelvic tilt exercise to help the baby turn. Sambil contraction sambil kuar masuk toilet jaga Afif diarrhea. Sampai nanges la jugak aku.

Around 7pm aku tak tahan sangat dah gi surrender kat labor room. Laki aku jaga Afif sebab takkan nak tinggalkan budak tu sorang kan. Strangely i feel relieved and at peace, being alone in the labor room. Sempat baca Surah Mariam and Surah Yusuf. Walked around the ward kononnya nak bagi cepat beranak. At around 9-10pm nurse datang tanya nak epidural tak. Sakit still bearable so dengan konfidennya cakap takpe, i can manage. "Betul ni puan? Doktor bius nak balik dah. Lepas ni kalau nak epi kene tunggu after 6am esok baru ada doktor" Walaupon ada sedikit goyah disitu (sebab sakit weh contraction), aku still kata takpe. Aku rasa penat and ngantok sangat, penangan dok spital jaga anak. So bila contraction takda aku try la tido.

Wednesday (genap-genap 40weeks)

Around 1am camtu Mr. Chenta masuk labor room temankan aku pulak. i'm so glad to have him there. Nasib baik Wan datang so lepas tidokan Afif, baru la laki aku temankan aku. Time ni sakit dah every 5-4 minutes camtu. Walked around the room in an attempt to distract my mind. Laki aku pon barai sebab since Sunday tido tak betul so dia tido. Sian kat dia so aku suruh je dia tido atas kerusi tu ha. Tapi bila tak tahan sangat contraction aku jerit je suruh dia urut/pegang/buat apa yang patut.

Around 4.30am aku ingatkan dah banyak la bukak sebab aku rasa cam kerap and sakit je contraction (padahal every 4mins). So aku suruh la nurse buat VE dengan harapan kuar lah cepat anakku. Rupanya baru 5cm. Time ni aku rasa memang tak larat dah. Aku lek dlu tahan. Tak larat bangon dah so aku menonggeng je la atas katil bila contraction. The combination of not having enough rest and the crazy contraction was too strong for me. Everything that i read in natural and hypnobirthing books, everything i saw on YouTube disappear. Tak ingat dah bernapas camne, nak bayangkan rainbow, petal bagai memang haram vanish from my mind. Yang aku ingat sakit je. i surrender. Kol 5.30am camtu aku mintak epidural.

At 6ish am, doktor bius datang. While he was yapping away briefing about epi, aku nak je jerit "Give me the Goddamn epidural already!" Tapi sabar je la. When he's done briefing and nak cucuk, aku cakap "Jappppp! Contraction nak datang!" Pas abes contraction tu, nurse tu pasang hamende ntah kat blakang aku pastu nak cucuk, aku kata lagi "Kejap doktorrrr! Con. Trac. Tion.."

When it's over, diorang cepat-cepat masukkan epidural. The sense of tingling ran down my spine and after a few seconds, all pain disappear. i couldn't feel my legs. Ya Allah leganya. Terus aku tido.

Kol 8am lebih camtu aku terjaga. i remember thinking "Kalo aku tau, awal-awal amek epi" haha.

The Push

Around 10am, midwife buat VE. "Eh dah habis 10cm dialated la..!" Kepala baby pon dah rasa ni. i was so excited "So nak push skang ke ape ni?" aku tanya. Dia kata kene call doktor Noor Fidak dulu.

After a few minutes, she came back. "Kita tunggu doctor datang ye. Dia on the way". Of course la aku panic. "Takpe ke nurse? Baby ni tak lemas ke? Dah bukak habis ni.." Then she explained they are monitoring the CTG and baby's heart beat. Heart beat seems okay and contraction still going strong so it's okay.

Aku ingatkan brapa minit je tunggu. Rupanya nak dekat kol 11am baru doctor sampai (-___-)

Straight away she asked me to push. Aku memang tak rasa apa sebenarnya. Numb abes. So memang tak rasa la ada pressure kepala baby ke, contraction ke, sakit pon tak rasa. i tried and tried to push but they say "Awak tak push ponnn"

"Push macam nak berak!"

"Bayangkan awak tengah buang air"

And i just wanna say "Saya tengah push nak berak la ni tak nampak ke omaigoddddd!!"

Dr. Fidak said "Baby awak dah naik balik ni. -ve 2 position dia" at which i wanted to say "Tu laa doktor yang lambat tadi dia dah turun tau takkk" but of course i just kept quiet.

Then i tried to push.

Pastu ada sorang midwife ni kata "Ish.. Awak ni kene c-sect ni" followed by a murmur of agreement from the other two nurses. One of them proceeded to call the OT.

Dr. Noor Fidak senyap je and asked me to try to push.

Firmly, i looked into Dr. Noor Fidak's eyes and said "Doktor, saya tak nak kene c-sect.."

She smiled and say, "Takpa, kita cuba" Pastu dia urut perot aku ke ape aku pon tatau.

Lepas try push lagi, doktor kata "Kita pakai vacuum la ye"

i agreed.

i saw the vacuum thingy.

She looked at me kindly and said "Takyah c-sect tp kene tolong baby kuar pakai vacuum. Awak kene kuat tau Siti"

i nodded. Anything.

"Ok push!"

i pushed. Pastu tetiba ada benda doctor tu letak atas dada aku. i blinked and ya Allah. It was my baby!

He cried and scream and i'm feeling heavenly.

My baby is here! Screaming, eyes open, slimy, warm, and here, in my arms.

"Haa nasib baik cepat. Baby berak ni haa.." Somebody said.

i looked at Mr. Chenta and he's looking at Dhani with the look of amazement in his eyes. Then he kissed me and said "Okay.. lepas ni tunggu lama sikit la baru ada baby lagi"

We hugged Dhani. When he calmed down, he looked at me. And he did the breast crawl, looking for milk. Then he did the most amazing thing, this smart boy; he latched then and there and drink like he's the hungriest baby in the world.

All this while the doctor is doing the whatnots kuarkan placenta, menjahit bagai.

"Doctor, tanak amek baby ke?" i asked

"Oh tak.. Kita memang akan biarkan mommy baby skin to skin for one hour"

So we savor that first one hour of Dhani's life. Watching him drinking. Belek-belek badan dia. Having the dia-ikut-muka-sapa argument. Oohing and awwing at his fingers/eyes/hair.

After one hour, the nurse took Dhani to be cleaned and checked by the paed. i was brought to the room.

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That was Dhani's labor story. Definitely not an intervention-free birth but i am thankful that C-section was avoided and that both mama and baby were safe. Okay nanti aku bebel lagi pasal VBAC.

Dhani Nur Iman bin Mohd. Idzwan Asyraff

Petang tu masing-masing tido kepenatan.

 Dhani & Unyang

First of many night together