Monday, June 3, 2013

The First Day

Today is a very heart breaking day for me.

The day i had to send my precious little son to the babysitter.

Cries.

Wails.

Cries.

Seriously i don't know how you mothers do it. Tabah gila.

i feel like a failure, having to leave my child. Tapi nak buat camne lah kan.. Nak berhenti kerja and be a stay at home mom, suami saya bukan lah orang kaya nak menanggung semua expenses. Both of us have to work to maintain the life quality that we're comfortable with. Nak continue suruh Wan jaga, Wan dah tak sihat cam dulu, sejak keluar hospital haritu. This is our only choice for now.

i understand that no other person will love and care for your child as best as you do but i really pray that the babysitter sincerely loves my son, dan jaga lah dengan penuh amanah. Mintak simpang lah anak aku kene dera ke apa.

Pagi tadi Afif happy je pagi-pagi dapat naik kereta. Dia tak tau kita nak tinggalkan dia kat rumah pengasuh. Masuk je rumah tu, macam biasa lah dia sebok pandang sana sini. Curious. Pastu dia pelik, baring di tilam yang asing. Aku kuarkan botol susu, suap bagi dia minom. Tak lama pastu beralih tangan pulak ke babysitter. He looks confused. i almost cry. So aku bla cepat-cepat sebelum berdrama plak nanges kat situ. Sigh. Nasib baik lah anak aku bukan jenis menanges tanak kat strangers.

Sampai skang aku takleh concentrate. Teringat apa lah khabar anak aku. Nanges kah dia? Ok kah dia? Semalam try bagi makan organic baby cereal yang kawan MIL aku hadiahkan. Ok kah perot dia? Sebabnya sebelom ni makan Heinz cereal dia sembelit. Sigh.

Bertabah lah wahai hati.


5 comments:

  1. be strong babe.aku doa babysitter tu syg budak2.amin

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    1. Amin. Thanks babe.. Aku doa gitu gak. U'r lucky mak ko jaga safiyya.. :D

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  2. i feel u teefa. be strong. we just have to do what we have to do. mari doa yang baik2 semoga anak kita dilindungiNya sepanjang ketiadaan kita

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    1. Amin. Thanks lela.. InsyaAllah ok kot. Hamza u hantar kat babysitter gak ke?

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  3. hmmm...aku pun x pernah lagi anto anak to stranger....berdebar gak la coz bulan 9 ni aku start masuk keje. asalnye nak anto kat nursery but with the current yg mcm2 kisah aku n hubby dengar, terus tak jadi...now looking for the right bs...

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