WARNING : extremely long post.
Extremely long overdue.
Extremely long overdue.
It all started on Sunday, 7/10/2012.
Pagi-pagi dah bangon sebab excited nak kuar dengan girlfriends iaitu Shaq, Shaf and Nani. Shaf ngidam dimsum. i just wanna eat everything sebelum berpantang 44 hari nanti kononnya.
So we went to Mandarin Oriental for their dimsum. Our first time there (selalunya kami gi Quality Hotel or Sime Darby) and the foods are marvelous! Sayangnya takda buffet. Order ala carte. A bit pricy but definitely worth it (i'm actually drooling while typing this)
Selepas makan-makan, cadangnya nak gi try Dip n' Dip, the new dessert cafe offering all kinds of chocolates dishes. Before leaving the hotel, i went to the toilet and (gasp!) there's blood on my pantyliner. i was freaking out but tried to be cool and act normal around my friends as i don't want them to panic and send me to the hospital. Ye la kalo dah kene gi hospital bila la pulak nak gi Dip n' Dip khennn? Nak tunggu pas pantang tak sanggup eden.
Pastu nak masuk kereta perot dah start sakit period pain. (note: i've been having mild period pain for two weeks that time). Maka terpaksa berterus terang dengan the girls. As expected they freaked out and wanted to take me to PCMC straight away. But i said NO!!! Go to Dip n' Dip first baru gi hospital!! It's my body and it wants chocolate and you have to take me. Haaa begitu lah tahap kecintaan saya kepada coklat.
Called husband dearest and he'll meet me at PCMC.
Lepas berpuas hati makan kat Dip n' Dip, Shaq and Nani sent me to PCMC. i thought the doctor will just check in the ER tapi rupanya straight away masuk labor room.
i was nervous. The girls are waiting at the waiting area outside the labour room. Husband datang tak lama pastu.
The midwife seluk (Sakit okay kene seluk) and found out i was 1cm dialated. i was like "Macam ni je ke sakit nak beranak.. Macam period pain je.." The hooked me on the CTG to monitor contraction. i had mild contraction every 20 minutes. Seriously i felt fine. Sakit cam period pain je. So i told the midwife i wanna go home. Taknak beranak lagi. Then she said "You dah macam in labour. Doctor suruh you warded for observation"
i was given steroid shots as a precautionary step. Kalau terberanak, i'd be having premature baby (time tu 36++ weeks) so the steroid will mature baby's lungs.
i ended up warded for 3 days, given two shots of steroid. Second day, the contraction dah tak regular. So third day, on 9/10/12 ( Tuesday ) i was permitted to go home.
Gaaahaha buat malu je false alarm. Pasni i swear if i have bleeding close to EDD i'll just shut up sampai lah datang real contraction or air ketuban pecah.
The Real Labor
The next day, which is Wednesday night, lagi sakit pulak period pain. By this time i know already period pain means contraction. Tapi buat bodoh je la walaupon nak tido tak berapa lena. Baru 37 weeks weh. i really didn't think i'm gonna beranak soon.
At 3.15am (Thursday) tetiba terjaga dari tido sebab sakit sangat perot. Try tido balik tak boleh. i sat up pastu rasa macam basah sket kat area va-jay-jay. Ingatkan aku terkencing, sebab ngantok sangat, try tido balik. Pastu tak sedap hati nak gi toilet la nak shishi. Bila bangun je, berjeburrr air keluar. My water broke! Mr. Chenta was in the bathroom at that time and i was like "Bibibbbbbbbb... Bibibbbbb!! My water broke!!!". Terus la kelam kabut laki bini.
Mr. Chenta ajak gi hospital and i was like "Noooo!! What if false alarm lagi?" (which is silly of me. Water breaking means you're in labor!). "It's okay bb. Jom tido.." i said bravely. Pas pakai maternity pad kononnya nak tido lah. Takda maknanya berjejeran air ketuban tu keluar. Last-last terpaksa la gi hospital.
Reached hospital around 4.15am. Terus masuk labour room (again). i was 2cm dilated. Midwife tu kata "Haaa.. ni bebetol nak beranak!" Hooked on to CTG. Regular contraction about 8 minutes apart. Sakit la jugak tapi tak lah tahap sakit nak mati. Midwife tanya nak epidural tak. i was in doubt. Nak ke tanak eh? Last-last aku cakap "Bearable lagi. Nanti kalau tak tahan sangat saya mintak lah.."
Sepanjang contraction tu sempat lagi baca surah Maryam, surah Yassin, makan-makan, bergurau dengan suami, gelak-gelak, amek gambar dan took a short nap. i'm glad to have a few hours to spend alone with my husband. We're excited but definitely nervous. Mr. Chenta even felt a bit nauseous. Muahaha..
Last pose as a child-less couple.
Sempat laki aku baca mags & tido haa..
At around 9am Dr. Tan Yiap Hong (the replacement Ob/Gyn because Dr. Aziz is not around for 2 weeks can you believe it??) came and check up on me. Surprisingly i was still 2cm dialated. And then dia berkerut-kerut tengok CTG graph tu.
And then he said "You're still 2cm dilated which normally is not a problem. But baby's heart beat is low. Now it's 80. Normally minimum should be 110. We have no choice. Kene ceaser lah.."
Kami laki bini terkejut gila. Berderau darah time tu. In my head i was screaming "This is not part of the plannnn!" Dr. Tan explained that serviks tak bukak, with this low heart beat baby boleh lemas. Dengan berat hati, terpaksa pasrah je kene bedah. The worst thing is that my husband can't be in the operation thater coz it's an emergency c-section. Lagi lah rasa nak meraung je. Tapi keraskan hati buat-buat macho tahan nanges.
Part kene usung pi OT tu aku rasa paling drama. Macam dalam drama tv. Mr. Chenta jalan sebelah katil, his face looked worried. Thousands of thoughts ran through my mind. Selamat kah anak aku nanti? OMG will i be fattttt? Coz selalunya orang beranak c-sect akan jadi gemok susah nak turun badan. Lagi nak meraung fikir pasal tu.
Around 10am masuk OT. Mr. Chenta dihalau keluar. i was prepped for epidural. Hamagad sakit ok dia masukkan epidural tu. Rasa macam electric shock down my spine. Pastu terus takleh gerak kaki dah. My body felt numb eventhough sebenarnya epi tu affect lower body je. Terlantar atas katil bedah tu teringat masa bedah tikus dalam kelas Biology form 5. Ini agaknya perasaan tikus tu.
i can't see the whole procedure sebab ada curtain diorang letak. i'm glad they did. Mau aku pengsan tengok diri sendiri kene toreh. Tapi masa kene bedah tu agak emosi. Coz i felt so alone. i just want my husband to be there.
At 10.36am (bak kata dalam report baby tu lah) keluar lah my Little Hero. Doctor tu kata "Your baby is here!" But i can't hear anything.. 2 saat pastu aku dengar dia tersedak-sedak pastu meraung. That was the most beautiful sound i have ever heard in my life. Sebak gilaa woo.. Again, i feel like crying but sebab saya macho, tahan je la. Nanges dalam hati katanya.
Then i heard the doctors gasp and said a few medical terms and something like "This is the first time we have this here!". Cuak aku. Apsal anak aku? Ada yang tak kene kah? But i didn't dare ask. i don't wanna find out.
A few minutes after that my baby was brought to me. Tapi sedih takleh pegang dia. i kissed him then he was brought away to the nursery to be cleaned. Aku still terlentang kat situ. Kene jahit balik.
At around 11am the whole procedure finished. Time tu menggigil kesejukan - side effect of epidural. Stay jap kat area OT tu for God-knows-what kol 11.30am camtu baru diusung masuk dalam bilik. Thank God Mr. Chenta was there waiting for me anxiously but still smiling.
"i saw our son!" he exclaimed. "Tadi naik lif dengan dia.. He opened his eyes. Kecik-kecik pandai bukak mata! He was looking at me.."
Waiting for Afif to be brought back to us felt like a lifetime. Berkali-kali aku tanya "Mana Afif?".. Dua kali aku suruh laki aku tanya nurse lama lagi ke dia kat nursery.. i was anxious. Mungkin sebab terkenang apa doctors tu berborak dalam OT tadi. Dalam kol 12.30pm camtu baru dia masuk bilik. Mr. Chenta azan dan iqamatkan. Syahdu gilaa time tu. Sebak. Then i breastfed him for the first time ever. Alhamdulillah ada colostrum and Afif latched on excellently for a first timer.
Later that afternoon Dr. Tan came to check up on me. Rupanya yang diorang kecoh dalam OT tu tadi sebab tali pusat Afif adalah sangat pendek and at that point, dah nak terputus. Patut lah susah nak buka serviks tu. Sebab dia tak boleh turun to trigger the opening. "We're lucky that we decided to ceasar quickly. Tadi kalau lambat sikit, tak tau la apa jadi.." he said. Alhamdulillah. (Wan pon kata masa dia basuh uri, memang pendek tali pusat. Sejengkal camtu je..)
Post operation, tak rasa apa-apa sebab kaki still numb. Rasa penat and emotionally drained. Rasa tak berguna coz bila Afif nanges nak susu, i can't get him myself. Kene Mr. Chenta angkat kasi kat aku. Petang tu bius hilang, baru start rasa sakit. At that point i felt like "Cukuplahhhh.. Tanak ngandung dah.." Nurse suruh duduk atas katil for the rest of the day. Takleh bangun dulu. That night, i broke down and cried to my hesband. The whole day was overwheling.. Dah tahan nanges dari pagi haaa hamek ko terus meroyan mlm tu. Baru lega rasa..
Shaf came at around 2pm. Mak and Maksu dia pon datang. Later that afternoon Shaq came. Linda, Butet, Wan and Redha pon datang..
Esoknya baru boleh bangun. i walked around the room to exercise my legs. Tapi sakit la jugak takleh tunduk and gerak laju.My crazy colleagues pon datang. penuh gak lah bilik. Thanks to As, Pip, Pijot, Feena, Niza, Ogy, Anna, Zarith, Mariah, Amal, Hazman, Sherry, Sue-mae, Yu he, Yoga, Lina, Tim, In, Jiah, Zatil and sesapa lagi yang terlepas nama. Diorang ni semua datang on second day. Thanks for the hadiahs. Tatau dah which hadiah is from which one of you but we really appreciate it.
Some of the gang.
Thanks jugak to Faiz + Shila, Hazwan + Myra, Nadiia + partner, Chuna + Mael, families, dan semua yang datang melawat.
Warded for 4 days. Dapat balik rumah on Sunday. Alhamdulillah Afif takda kuning. Even the doctor was amazed. "Apa you buat haaa baby takda kuning langsung. Selalu babies yang almost premature ni teruk kuning nya.."
That was my Labor + Ceasarean experience. It definitely took us by surprise but Allah is the best planner.